I know that people who have blogs update them often. Little musings about how their week is going, the things they are thinking about, the projects they are working on. The reason there is such a large amount of time between blogs, is because it takes me this long to reach into the swirling vortex that is my brain and fish out one of the thousands of thoughts catching speed as the spin spin spin around in my head. When I catch hold of this thought, I then attempt to articulate the best I can... Which is not always an easy task.... especially when you are crazy.
I feel like I have learned so much since my last blog, which makes this even harder to write, because I'm not even sure where to begin. There have been a few words that have really seem to come up several times in the last month. So most of my thoughts, as of late, have been centered around these words.
What are these words?
When I think of the word responsibility, my mind automatically travels back to the list of chores I did when I was a kid. I see a checklist. I see specific things that I have to do, even if just for the sake of crossing it off a list. I don't remember feelings of joy, or of servanthood. I feel obligation. I can hear the authoritative tone in my mother's voice.
I don't like that this is my connotation for this word. I need to redefine this word in my life. I need to think past the feeling of clenching teeth, and I need to have an open mind.
I want this word to be one that directly makes me think of my relationship with the Lord. I want to know Jesus so well that it becomes a responsiblity for me to follow him so closely, that it's hard for people to tell a difference.
But not just any responsibility....
...... a joyful one.
One that will only make me smile. One that will make me excited.
One that I will never be able to cross off of any list, but one that I will be constantly working towards.
I was to be joyfully responsible.
Now, I think this word ties in perfectly with the next two.
In the journey to become more like Jesus. I want to be selfless, and unbelievably hospitable. I want to be a kind of person that you unashamedly ask to do things for you, with complete confidence in the fact that I will say yes. And I want to do it joyfully.
Last week, I was given a perfect example of this lifestyle. I perfect symbol of Jesus, hospitality, responsibility, and selflessness. It was this couple of precious days that finally allowed the process of reaching into my brain feel safe....
In some of the best solitude hours I've ever spent in my life, I drove up to Chicago all by myself. I laughed, I cried, I prayed, I sang, I stared... It was great.
I was warmly welcomed into the cutest apartment I've ever walked into in my life. Quotes and pictures and books and laughter and trains and organic lemonade and music and crafts filled the home. I automatically felt like I belonged there.
These unique decorations and crazy amount of books are not even what made the apartment so special. It was the couple that occupied it.
These two individuals were a home. They are unashamedly in love, and they don't care who knows it. The common knowledge of their mutual love for one another seems like common sense. It seems like it is just a universal truth that they are together.
Simply put... they love each other more than they love themselves, and they do so loudly, and obviously. And that's it guys.... that's like Jesus. They are Jesus to one another. And to everyone else they meet.
I am so thankful that I spend these two wonderful days with these people. I feel like the peace and love that I had been praying to feel, that seemed to far away, was finally shown to me in the most unlikely situation.
Let us be Jesus to one another.
Let us be selfless.
Let us be responsible.
Let us be hospitable.
[What is it about strawberries that scream summertime?]