Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Pay my respects to grace and virtue.

I do really love this place. I live in a castle, with 180 people that are in the exact same situation as me. We all are not sure what our futures will look like, but we all want to learn more about the Lord, make friends, live in England, and try to really listen to what He is trying to say. It's nice to be surrounded by people you can relate to on things that you aren't used to being able to relate to. Not to mention the learning I am going to do at this place will be incredible. I already know that it will.

The grass here is impossibly green. It almost hurts to look at, it's so beautiful. The rolling hills, the sheep, the canal, the castle itself... all completely breathtaking. I'm so astonished daily by the beauty surrounding me. I'm so lucky to be here.

I will try to post pictures as soon as I can.

It's nice to be here, and be on my own, and be able to experience the independence that has been trying to get my attention for years. It is nice to be on my own and to truly feel like this is something that I am doing, on my own. This is currently part of my life that I chose, and I am so happy that I did. I am confident in the fact that I am supposed to be here.

Not saying that there aren't moments of loneliness in the night, that hit you like a cold sweat. Thank God for the beauty of music though. Ryan Adams feels like an old friend, and keeps me company when I need a sense of familiarity. Then there are those certain songs that make you thing of someone specifically, and it feels like you are sitting there right with them. Thank you, music.

I'll write more soon.

Ya know what's fun?

Capernwray Hall

"A culture with only one word for love is in danger of loneliness."
Just a little taste of what I'm learning.


Friday, September 25, 2009

Let's just pack up our bags, and go...

Today, I am moving to England.

I am bringing two suitcases fully equipped with my favorite items of clothing, too many scarves, a faithful teddy bear, and a pair of kelly green rain boots. I constantly glance over at the stretching zippers and wonder how long they will be able to do there job. Then I find one more thing, and unzip the suitcase, watch it let out the breathe of air it had ever so desperately been holding in, shove something else in the impossibly tight corner, and start the long process of zipping it back up again.

I hate packing. Also, I am fully aware of the fact that I will forget something. I know I will.

This last week has been one full of laughter, tears, poetry, surprises, porches, goodbyes, and freak-outs. And in the midst of all of this, I haven't once taken the time to let my brain fully comprehend the fact that I am leaving. But now, as i sit in my (moderately) clean room staring at my packed suitcases, and the items that are to be left behind, the reality of all of this seems to be sitting right by me (like he has been the entire time), and I have only just greeted him now.

Hello Reality, nice to see you. Hopefully we will get along and that soon I will be able to call you by your care-free nickname:


I will try to write in my blog as often as possible to keep my dear friends and family updated with my life in England. Maybe I'll post pictures, maybe not. But guaranteed, I will write of my adventures, and the lessons that I'm sure God will be teaching me the next few months.

For now, however, I will turn off my computer, place the needle on my Don Fogelberg vinyl, lay back on my floor, close my eyes, and just...... rest.

See you kids across the pond.

[I took this picture in Colorado at the beginning of this summer. I think it's a good symbol of beginnings.]

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Put my heart in your hands.

I took this picture when I went to go visit my brother last year. But it didn't mean nearly as much as it does now....

Sailing has become this symbol of reckless abandon. ya know? dropping everything to follow your dream. Why aren't there as many dreamers out there anymore? I have started to notice that my closest friends are dreamers. Because someone that is apathetic, and has no motivation or passion is hard for me to be around. I can't wrap my head around someone that lives that kind of life. What is the point? I feel like i want to commit my life to checking dreams off of my list.

I want a sailboat. I feel like it will help me greatly in my journey of as a dreamer.
Who's coming with me?