Lately, I have been daydreaming a lot.
I have been crafting brilliant plans, and all the details that they require. I have sent out emails. I have looked at flights. I have considered gas prices. And I have spent hours on the internet looking at all of the different things that I could be happy doing.
However, all of these things have remained in the confines of my brain, or in the sub-text of an introductory email that was never intended to be followed up.
Why do i make all of these plans, when I know that they will never come to fruition? I think it is because that if I have learned anything in the past two years, it is that the word is a small place. And I never want to lose that realization. So maybe I just always want to be living with the realization that nothing is too far out of reach. Other countries aren't that far away, and there is no real reason why you shouldn't apply for that job. Yes, money is real, and it gets in the way. But, save your Starbucks money for a year, and buy a plane ticket to go visit someone that you always said you would. Get in your car, and drive eleven hours to be home for no more that 40. But know that those 40 hours are important- and so are the eleven that it took you to get down there. In the grand scheme of things, a week long a trip, or a year-long trip are so tiny. Not to say that they are unimportant, but they are tiny. It is no longer a big deal to spend a month here, or a year there.
No matter where we go, no matter if the plans we make happen or not, no matter if we are gone for 1 year or 20 years, we return. We come back. I don't know where we return to.. I mean, maybe it's not one place. Maybe it's not "home." Maybe it's a state of mind, maybe it's a routine, or maybe it's a hug from your mom.
But, in order to return, we must leave. We have to make plans We have to take steps forward. We have to say goodbye. We have to walk away.
Yes yes, I know you are probably thinking, "Here we go, Kinsley, trying to teach lessons via the beauty of paradox." I know I do it a lot, people, but that is because it is such an important concept to grasp. What would stillness mean without it's opposite? What would be light if there was no dark?
The more we recognize paradox, the more we learn to live within it's tension.
What would Easter mean if there was no Good Friday?
So, let us dwell within the tension.
Let us understand that it was true love that carries us, that keeps us afloat.
Let us live with the knowledge that we are forgiven and loved.
Let us mourn the loss and death of our Saviour, let us feel the whip on his back, and the thorns being pressed into his head.
And then, with the rising of the sun, let us REJOICE. let us BE GLAD and know, with every fiber of our being
that He is alive...
.... and so are we.
So, let us return and grab hold of the Love that is waiting for us.
[Oh, I do hope this is one place I am able to return to.]