Monday, December 29, 2008

67,000 miles an hour.

Here we are. All of us, here. Spinning around the same sun.

And as we are all trying to figure out or own problems, we still manage to reach out to one another. We makes friends. We learn who they are. What makes them tick, what makes them melt and such. Sure, we don't always get to know their day to day beings, but the other stuff is just more important, don't you think?
As I see the new year approahing, I think of all the people that I have reached out to, and the ones that have reached back. I am so thankful for the people that I have found in my life that truly know me, and care for me. I'm not talking about people that you just get along with, or tolerate. I'm talking about that people that you learn and grow with. Have you ever had a friend that is explaining something they are going through, and you know that you could be saying the exact same thing, and it would still stand true? That is the freind I'm talking about. I am talking about truly connecting with and understanding (or at least trying) another human being. The people, that amidst the frantic activity of life, are always there. They are constant and safe.

I am so blessed to say that I have those friendships in my life. No, they are not always conventional, they are not always close, and they are not always pefect. But they are beautiful. Every single one of them.

In order to make these many relationships that compose our lives good ones, we much invest in Person B, right? Here is what I always seem to struggle with though. How do we properly function in these relationships, while manintaining a sense of ourselves, and keeping those precious pieces of our hearts close, and secret? If you were to see the movie of my life, you would know that this is something that I have never done quite right. There were those instances when I didn't share enough out of fear of losing it, which contributed to the eminent demise of the relationship. And then there was the polar opposite situations, where I shared too much, only to see those pieces of my heart disappear. Those pieces of my heart that no one should have seen, gone.
Is this something that I can ever master?
We'll see.
I have plenty of growing up to do, that is for sure.

I'm going to Iowa in a day. To see my one of these dear friends in my life. Watering my soul...

Thursday, December 25, 2008

beginnings, thoreau, insanity, and christmas.

I was finally inspired to just get one of these things. I'm thinking it will help contribute to the prevention of complete insanity, on my part. Yes, I think it therapeutic to share my thoughts. Even if it's just to myself.

Yes, today is Christmas. And a merry one to you and yours. I got a record player today. Something I have been wanting for a long time now. My father recently told me how much he appreciates my deep love for music and is glad that we can share that. That meant a lot to me. It is a nice thing when passions collide. Especially when it is someone close to you. So, my dad got me a record player. He taught me how to be particularly careful with the needle, and even gave me a cloth to clean my vinyls. It was nice. It was like we were just friends, that just so happened to be related.

So, I will carefully slip my Ryan Adams vinyl out of it's sleeve, and gently place the needle on it, and let the sweet sweet sounds of Oh My Sweet Carolina crawl into every corner of the room.

All the sweetest winds blow across the south.

"We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour. If we refused, or rather used up, such paltry information as we get, the oracles would distinctly inform us how this might be done. "
-Henry Thoreau