Here we are. All of us, here. Spinning around the same sun.
And as we are all trying to figure out or own problems, we still manage to reach out to one another. We makes friends. We learn who they are. What makes them tick, what makes them melt and such. Sure, we don't always get to know their day to day beings, but the other stuff is just more important, don't you think?
As I see the new year approahing, I think of all the people that I have reached out to, and the ones that have reached back. I am so thankful for the people that I have found in my life that truly know me, and care for me. I'm not talking about people that you just get along with, or tolerate. I'm talking about that people that you learn and grow with. Have you ever had a friend that is explaining something they are going through, and you know that you could be saying the exact same thing, and it would still stand true? That is the freind I'm talking about. I am talking about truly connecting with and understanding (or at least trying) another human being. The people, that amidst the frantic activity of life, are always there. They are constant and safe.
I am so blessed to say that I have those friendships in my life. No, they are not always conventional, they are not always close, and they are not always pefect. But they are beautiful. Every single one of them.
In order to make these many relationships that compose our lives good ones, we much invest in Person B, right? Here is what I always seem to struggle with though. How do we properly function in these relationships, while manintaining a sense of ourselves, and keeping those precious pieces of our hearts close, and secret? If you were to see the movie of my life, you would know that this is something that I have never done quite right. There were those instances when I didn't share enough out of fear of losing it, which contributed to the eminent demise of the relationship. And then there was the polar opposite situations, where I shared too much, only to see those pieces of my heart disappear. Those pieces of my heart that no one should have seen, gone.
Is this something that I can ever master?
We'll see.
I have plenty of growing up to do, that is for sure.
I'm going to Iowa in a day. To see my one of these dear friends in my life. Watering my soul...
This is the struggle. Transparency. Vulnerability. Openness. These things do indeed leave us available to hurt and pain, but these things also allow for fullness of life. Tennyson said, "it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." It's a delicate balancing act of the heart, but we must walk the tight rope if we hope to catch those tiny glimpes of light.
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